Pixelated
by mod-soul64
Summary: Or, It's All A Little Fuzzy. John and Dave use webcams and laptops to lessen their physical distance. Derping and a little bit of lovin' ensues. Oneshot, normalcy AU.


"Okay, okay, I'm taking my damn pants off, geez." John shimmies out of his boxers and jeans, stepping out of them one leg at a time, then sits back down on his bed. He angles his webcam up, staring right into the lens. "Now what?"

"Whoa. Whoa. Put the camera back where it was, and leave it there." Dave Strider's voice crackles from the laptop, the video lagging on a image of his smirk. "Nice Slimer boxers, by the way."

John rolls his eyes. "Shut up, Pokeball boy. And, why, so you can stare at my dick? That's not creepy in the slightest."

"Hey, I've shown you my boner, it's only fair that I get to see yours, too. Remember?"

Dave stands up, his erection passing across John's screen for a moment. John glances away.

"Yeah, I know. Unlike yours, my dick isn't quick to sproing to attention. Sorry."

"Dude, it's just a penis. You have one, I have one-it's nothing to be embarrassed about. Besides, you're a teenager. You don't need to be in any turquoise bathtub commercials. Yet."

"Not like the situation's going to get any sexier... I just don't see anything happening tonight."

"John, I am highly offended by that."

"I didn't say you were unattractive. I'm just not in the mood."

"Wait, hold up, I got this." Dave pauses, the changing tabs of the Internet reflected in the shades of his sunglasses. John sighs and rests his hands on his knees, his head in his hands.

_I've been really tryin', baby_

"...Dave. What are you doing."

Dave smiles and bites his lip, and begins to gyrate his hips, his body swaying to the music.

_Tryin' to hold back this feeling for so long_

"Dave. DAVE."

_And if you feel like I feel, baby_

"Sorry, John, but you started it. It can't be stopped now." Dave looks over his sunglasses and winks at John.

"DAMMIT, DAVE!"

_Then, c'mon, oh, c'mon_

He opens his mouth and starts to croon. "LET'S GET IT OOOOON, DOO DOO DOO! AH BABY, BABY, BABY, LET'S GET IT ON!"

"OKAY, I'M MOVING THE CAMERA! CALM DOWN!"

John fumbles with his webcam, a hand pressed to his mouth to quiet his laughter as Dave turns the music down, grinning.

"Aw, look, the valiant warrior has been roused from his sleep!" Dave takes his sunglasses off and puts them on his nightstand. "John Egbert, you may have some weird-ass turn-ons, but you always make me feel like a winner."

John looks down at his erection, then back at Dave.

"It's nothing special..."

"Sorry bro, but I like to think otherwise. You ready?"

John exhales. "Guess so."

He closes his eyes and starts rubbing his thumb against the head of his penis, then stops. He opens his eyes.

"Nope. It just feels like I'm masturbating."

Dave sighs. "You're not trying hard enough. Use your imagination."

"I am!"

"Well, I took my sunglasses off, didn't I? Just look into my eyes, or some sissy shit." John looks up and stares at Dave's face on the computer, then starts rubbing his tip again.

"Dude, it's not going to work if you keep looking away."

"Sorry, I just..." John sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "It's embarrassing."

"Hey, man, I know. But it's not like we're gonna be closer to each other anytime soon. I just want to try something out, preferably before my junk gets wracked by a terrible case of blue balls."

"Just go ahead and jerk off, then. It can't be that hard for you."

"John, I didn't mean it like that."

"I know. I'm sorry. It just won't work until you're physically here, with me."

"And I want to be, you know that."

"It's not that I don't want it to work, I just—"

"I know." Dave gets up and tosses something in the trash, then sits back down. "I know you're trying."

"Wait. Did you just throw a tissue away?"

"Um."

"Dave! I can't believe you!"

"Hey, you said I could."

John laughs and shakes his head. " I love you..."

"Love you too, man."

John looks up and smiles at Dave. Dave smiles back.

"We'll get there someday. And when we do, even the cowboys asses of Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger will be jealous of our glorious fucking. But, until then, Egbert, have fun watching your Ghostbusters porn, okay?" John grins. "Will do."

"Good."

Dave blows John a kiss, and his screen goes black.


End file.
